going gray: the afterlife
November 5, 2008 
8 Comments
Trading Places
I am so excited to be announcing today’s article which is written by Diana Jewell, founder and editor of Going Gray, Looking Great! Her site has been a godsend to me and many of you who are transitioning. Today Diana and I are “trading places” for the day so check out my post on What to Wear When Your Hair’s Gray on her site!
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Okay, so you’ve gone gray. You’ve somehow gotten through the mystery of transitioning, you may have a shorter new do, you’ve handled all the slings and arrows sent your way by friends and family, and as you sit there, staring at your new “face” in the mirror, two words come to mind: Now what?
Some women have likened going gray to a nine-month pregnancy. You’re busy germinating a new self. It’s exciting. There’s no doubt you feel a sense of wonder as you’re going through it – “I wonder if I’m going to like it?” “I wonder how gray/silver/charcoal it will be?” “I wonder if it will age me?” And you’ve undoubtedly been the center of attention, whether you’ve liked that or not. Well, now you’ve delivered. Any chance of post partum depression? Any chance you might feel like you’ve lost your “old” self?
I can happily report, not one woman I’ve interviewed, talked to, or heard from feels this way. To the contrary, they’re positively energized and excited. They like the natural “glow” they’ve gotten, they feel more committed than ever to making other changes, and they’ve discovered a whole new level of confidence they never knew they had. For many, it’s a life-changing experience. And it has nothing to do with the color of their hair.
Hundreds of women write in about this phenomenon to www.goinggraylookinggreat.com. Some of them are still transitioning, others have made it through. They all share this same, incredible verve.
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That feeling never really passes, but it’s soon overtaken by another discovery – gray never stays the same way. Unlike dyed color, it is constantly evolving. Some days it looks whiter, some days more silvery. The funny thing is, we all used to want our hair to be a “certain” color. We paid big bucks for that – never let them see you change, or horrors, someone will guess that’s not your natural shade. Now we celebrate the evolution! Oh look, my hair looks whiter in this light. And, because it’s natural, we never fear that people won’t think it’s our “real” shade. Look ma, no roots!
Since we are a work in progress, we have fun continually experimenting with new makeup colors, new wardrobe colors. We get out of our ruts. We play, we experiment. As one visitor to the site wrote in, “I feel like a kid in a cosmetics candy store.” Now, whooo-hooo — whole new colors have opened up to us. The desire to try new things, new cuts, new products, new accessories, new everything is re-awakened.
So, yes, there’s a great afterlife to going gray. Or as most women put it now – going natural. Going back to being ourselves. Going back to seeing that maybe Mother Nature was right. It’s up to us to discover how to look sexy, dazzling, chic, or professional all over again. And we do it with great abandon – reinventing ourselves, day by day. It’s fun.
With apologies to Andie MacDowell, the women who feel coloring their hair proves they’re “worth it” will never experience the great “afterlife” of gray. The energy, the confidence, the giddy excitement that comes from re-discovering yourself. And that’s ok, too. Nobody has to be gray. But when you want to, when you’re ready, look out! It’ll rock your world.
Diana Jewell is the author of the uber-popular book, Going Gray, Looking Great! and guides women in their various stages of going gray. Visit her at www.goinggraylookinggreat.com.
About the Author
Diana, such a great article. You really tell it like it is for those of us that have gone natural, about the energy, freedom, and I love the “giddy” excitement, it’s true. I hope it inspires and causes some curiousity to go to the site and check it out and see all the beautiful women and read the stories and see that what you say is true.
Thanks for this article! Sadly, I started going gray when I was 17!!! 10 years later, I’m dying my hair! I’d love to go nautural someday!
I went grey at 16 & except for when I was pregnant I’ve been coloring every since. Now that I am 60, I want to let it go natural. It looks like it’s mostly bright white with very few dark strands. How do I get it to grow out naturally without looking freakish for a long time?
Everything Diana says about the freedom you feel when you go natural is true. Talk about being your authentic self! I have gained new confidence in myself and my attitude. People have complimented me on my hair – now – but even I have to admit it was tough growing it out. I just looked at it as another adventure in life! I wouldn’t go back to coloring it for the world. My hair is so much healthier now…I just love it!
I feel so much like you Karen — it is the BEST. I love the softness and beauty of gray hair. And it was tough to grow out for me as well — luckily my “ugly phase” only lasted 2 months! It’s been a great adventure.
Shan — if you ever decide to go natural, you now know where you can come to for support.
i loved this article and i really like the 911 website..how fun for me to find someplace else to “roam” around…i am afraid i have had an easy time of the growing out process which i am very thankful…so far it looks like i have done highlighting..can hardly wait to see the end result…check out diana’s book and website…we really are a bunch of harmless little (i won’t say old) gray haired ladies…
louann
I would like to express my appreciation for each and every one of you, my silver sisters and for your insparational messages.
May I add by the way my little 7-8 week silver growth seems to have all the effects Kryptonite!!
You know- nothing looks worse than someone who is going gray (and fast like I did) that is constantly coloring too darkly. They look like they dipped their entire head in a vat of shoe polish and ALWAYS looks fake. I got so tired of all the money also, coloring is always expensive.