posted by teresa on
June 24, 2008
going gray: when to stop coloring your hair
About 18 months ago, I did a post on one woman’s decision to eliminate her colorist and go gray. It has probably been one of the more popular posts here at Wardrobe 911 because it’s frightening and empowering at the same time. On one hand you are embracing the aging of your body yet on the other hand, you are finally giving in to the fact that you no longer look young. That can be really tough, especially when you still FEEL young.
So when is the right time to stop coloring your hair? It’s different for everyone. Some never started coloring their hair. Others let their gray grow out and then eventually start coloring it again. Some do it around their 50th birthday. Some never stop.
A beautiful hair color can enhance your looks, your coloring, and can be a true security blanket. So what do you do if you decide to stop coloring your hair? How do you hide the obvious outgrowth?
Well, I started going gray when I was 19. After 22 years of coloring my hair (I’m 41), I’ve made the not-so-easy decision to stop. Why? There are two reasons: one practical and the other more personal.
One reason is that I hate spending 3 hours getting my hair colored every TWO weeks. Most women touch-up their roots every 6 weeks. About two years ago, I started having to do it every 4 weeks. Last year, every 3 weeks. And now? I’m at my 2 week mark and I have an inch outgrowth. Colormark’s colorstick works great for now but anything over an inch will get trickier.
My second reason is that I really want to know what I look like with white/gray hair and a young face. It’s complete curiosity. There is a lot of fear around it too - especially because of what I do for a living! But after sitting down with my husband and having a long discussion about it, I realized I’m ready. He even said “You know, there is something elegant and confident about a woman with gray hair who has a youthful demeanor. Gray hair doesn’t make you old, how you feel about yourself does.”
So, with that I am completely excited about going gray. How many of you are with me? How many of you (regardless of age!) are ready to embrace your gray? I’ll post once a month on my progress (with pictures!) along with giving you pointers on how to do it gracefully. I’ll also be holding my first teleseminar in July that will include easy hairstyle tricks that you can implement to hide your roots.
(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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June 24th, 2008 at 8:42 am
How very timely for me! I was just at the salon today for my cut and color. It was about a week past my usual 5 weeks, so I could really see what my “real” color (or lack thereof) is at this point. As she painted my hair I wondered what I would look like if I let it go completely gray. I’m 46 and my face is fairly unscathed by time, although the spots on my hands would suggest someone older. I will be following you with great interest as you go through this transition. And maybe I’ll follow you down that path.
June 24th, 2008 at 11:33 am
But ColorMark is not a stick its liquid hair color, right??
June 24th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Good for you, Teresa! I hope you’ll post a new photo when you’ve reached optimal grayness.
As for me, after years of blonde highlights–I was a blonde baby, but am a natural medium-brunette–I’m yielding gradually to the gray. I’m now adding lowlights that allow some of the gray to reveal itself; since women in my family don’t go completely gray till they’re in their 70s, I figure I have plenty of time to play. And I do consider it play: I get touched up only every 8 weeks or so, which is not burdensome but rather a relaxing interlude.
June 24th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Good for you, Teresa! I do think this is brave of you but I bet you’ll be glad when the growing up process is over! I haven’t had an gray yet but I do think I’ll dye it until I’m about your age. My mom never colored her hair but I think I’ve like to enjoy my brunette hair for a while longer than she got to enjoy her’s. That said, silver always looked lovely on her! I’m curious to see your pictures as this chapter unfolds.
June 24th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
I am at this very spot right now. I’ve been graying for years - it started out as a cool gray streak in the front, but is all over now. I have been coloring for years and it’s getting harder and harder to make it work.
I look forward to following your progress and can’t wait for more inspiration.
Blessings,
K
June 25th, 2008 at 9:14 am
Best of luck with your new look.
Like you I started to gray at 19 (though my mom swears she found gray hairs when I was
and am now 41. I never dyed it (too broke most years to justify the cost).
Now it’s mostly white and hardly a day goes by that I don’t get stopped in the street by a stranger who wants to tell me how much they like my hair. Last week, a woman stopped her car to shout compliments from her window. It’s a day brightener to say the least. May you have the same experience.
Good luck with it.
Cheers,
June 25th, 2008 at 11:11 am
I went the gray route several years back… I, too, was tired of the frequent touch-ups and wondered what I’d look like all gray. I started using “wash in” coloring that stayed in my hair for over a month at a time. I continued with that plan until I had cut all of the permanently dyed hair off. The coloring gradually wore off allowing the gray to “come in” a bit more naturally.
June 27th, 2008 at 5:13 am
I’ve been turning grey since my 30’s, and now at 53 my hair is silver/white. I’ve had the same experience as Ukrainiac: I get compliments all the time, but I attribute a lot of the response to having a really good (short) haircut and using a product to make it shiny. Alberto VO5 for grey hair is one of my secrets and it’s a bargain
June 27th, 2008 at 11:11 am
wow! so nice to hear from everyone and about your wonderful experiences being silver-haired foxes. the transition will certainly be the hardest — thank you for the tips on wash-in color, lowlights and Alberto V05! I am sure there are more great tips out there and would love to hear them.
and, blue — I call it colorstick because I get a kick out of calling it such. It is a liquid color that is applied via a magic wand. I love it.
July 1st, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Great topic. I’ve been a light blond my whole life. At about 43 I played around with tints but eventually chopped and grew natural. I’m now 51. Here’s the weird thing, I don’t have white or gray appearance but each time it grows out it’s more, well, cool, ash. It’s very healthy and beautiful and all the same color (my touch up girlfriends say they are jealous) but I am very unhappy. My lifelong love with warm spring colors: green, peach, ivory, cocoa, now look completely dead with this dissonant crop. Anybody else have wardrobe color problems with these natural changes?!
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:59 am
Wow…your gray post caught my eye.
I decided “long ago” to “face reality” and let myself go gray. Why?
One, I’m lazy and cheap. As you mentioned, it’s just too much work to keep up the color and also expensive.
Two, I like reality, for the most part….I’ll need to face it sooner or later, why put it off?
Once, however, after two trips to London in one summer, I felt “crazy” and put in a red rinse, except, I thought since my hair was long, I’d better keep it in longer than prescribed….Oopps, it never did wash out. I was a beautiful redhead for some time, yes, with unsightly gray roots. Ouch. I’ll never do that again.
Thanks for opening up the discussion that so many of us try to avoid…being gray.
Actually, when I was trying to make the decision to gray or not, I had a dream. In the dream some unknown person said to me, “Your hair isn’t gray. It’s silver!”
Somehow silver seemed a bit more exotic and easier to accept.
Be blessed on this lovely Wednesday!
Kari
July 5th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Great article.
I too have been graying so early in life. I only go grey in the bangs area of my hair, so it’s right up front where everyone sees it. So, I got a Bettie Page hairdo, and that hides most of my grey, however now, it’s starting to grow longer in other areas of my hair.
I dye it about twice a year, however like you, it grows so fast, that it doesn’t matter for long.
I’ve been carrying around the name Silvermane, for years now, and many people love my hair, I hate it. I hope to one day be comfortable with it.
I turn 35 in three days, and I am single with six kids. The dating world is unforgiving, I have no idea what to do. Perhaps I’ll go and dye it a few more times…
I can’t wait to see your pictures, I visit this blog everyday!
July 7th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Except for being mistaken for ds3 & ds4’s grandma a few times….LOVE my SILVER hair !
I usually state that grandma gave birth !
July 17th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Thank you,
I recently turned 50 and was wondering when to stop coloring my hair. I look 38 or so and did not have my first child until 41 when I thought I looked old enough to have a kid. I figured I would use that same gauge on letting my hair go natural.
Will be checking back to see your progress.
S
August 12th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
I stopped coloring and perming my hair this year and it has been a very interesting experience. My hair was shoulder length and honey/brown/blonde. Although the color was beautiful, the dye job upkeep was expensive. In January I cut my hair very short and stopped coloring it. The reaction to the new me has been much more positive than I expected. I have had my share of ugly comments; but the overall response has much more positive than negative. I have been stopped on the street, approached in the mall, and yelled at from a car. Each of these people just wanting to let me know that they loved my hair. Now, that I am used to the grey, I embrace the freedom. I just wonder if I’ll start coloring my hair again…
August 13th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
wow — you ladies are inspiring!
suzzane b, one of my friends is white on the left side of her bangs. She cut them short and then parts her hair on the right and covers it up. When she wants to show her edgy side, she flops her long bangs back over so that the shorter white bangs peek out. It looks really cool!!
and, ava — don’t color your hair because the pain of growing it out is too much. instead, get a custom made hairpiece (eg wig) for those days you want your old color back.
November 11th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
I made a similar decision this year. At 41 I was tired of 3 hours in “the chair” every three weeks to cover that white/gray/silver halo that appeared around my face too soon after the hair appt. So I went cold turkey with the coloring and took a more extreme approach to transitioning. I grew it out about an inch and a half and then went with a super-short haircut. The results: 1) I receive more compliments on my hair and hair color than I ever had before. 2) No one has said I look old or tired. 3) I love the way I look. For me, it was a great decision and I don’t have any urge to “run for the bottle” and color my hair.
December 20th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
This is great, I’ve been toying with the idea to let it just go too.
I’ve been seeing some really up to date women around our town with what I thought was platinum hair color back in style, but sounds like they just let it go silver/gray. I’ve been going gray for a while now and you do get awfully sick of the hair appts. and how quickly they seem to need to be made again.
Good Luck and it seems you have found quite an audience with the same attitude.